Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris have never used document libraries.
Libraries are for fags and pussies.
Chuck Norris have never seen any web parts.
He once found a trunk full of body parts.
Chuck Norris doesn’t set an executionpolicy for Powershell.
Chuck Norris Policy is to execute everyone.
Chuck Norris never uses a SharePoint Masterpage.
A Microsoft Certified Master uses a Chuck Norris page.
Chuck Norris don’t have site actions in SharePoint.
Chuck Norris IS Action.
Noone has ever seen Chuck norris move content databases.
Has anyone ever seen Chuck Norris move at all?
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a sharepoint farm.
Chuck Norris has a sharepoint gun range.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to use any wake up scripts.
Chuck Norris scares the shit out of every site and after that they stay awake forever.
Chuck Norris laughs at PowerShell.
Chuck Norris uses Chuck Norris’s Ultimate Power instead.
Chuck Norris don’t do back up.
He just waits until the other guy backs up.
Chuck Norris never starts an Approval workflow in SharePoint.
Chuck doesn’t need approval.
Chuck Norris doesn’t prepare for SharePoint 15.
SharePoint 15 prepares for him.
Microsoft asked Chuck Norris to sign an NDA about SharePoint 15.
Chuck Norris asked Microsoft to sign a Living Will.
In SharePoint 15, the Farm Administrators group is being renamed to ‘Chuck’s Group’.
Chuck does not subscribe to Alerts.
He knows what is happening before it happens.
Chuck Norris has never seen the SharePoint “Unknown Error” page.
Nothing is ever unknown or an error to Chuck.
When Chuck performs an administrative powershell operation he doesn’t need to use the -force flag.
SharePoint detects the power that struck the enter key and applies force by default.
How do you achieve the Microsoft Certified Chuck Norris Master title?
You can’t, you wake up one day just knowing that you have it, it will never happen to you though…
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a SharePoint Disaster Recovery Plan.
He doesn’t recover data, only hostages.
Putting Chuck Norris in the SharePoint Visitors group is futile.
Chuck always has Full Control.
Chuck Norris IS the Governance Plan
Chuck Norris never get’s unexpected errors with SharePoint.
He is always ready for everything.
SharePoint 2010 was a Chuck Norris idea.
Chuck Norris once caused an error.
SharePoint didn’t dare tell him.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need a MySite
Chuck Norris just takes whatever site he wants and makes it his.
You can’t unfollow Chuck Norris
If you try to Unfollow Chuck Norris, you get an “Unhandled Roundhouse-kick-to-the-face Exception
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to run profiles imports from AD.
The profiles just turn up without him having to ask.
(Thanks discoveringsharepoint)
(Thanks Steve – SPFarmBoy)
(Thanks Thomas)

(If you have a good one, please share them in a comment and I will add it to the page with your name on it)

It can’t all be serious…




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